Sunday, 21 February 2010

Lord Cadaver; King Of The Sea

This is the story about how me and 5 other of my guildies (team) embarked on an epic journey over the oceans of Darkfall. (An MMORPG) (For info on what exactly an MMORPG is or Darkfall, read my previous posts)

The entire thing is based on the true event of what happened. Of course I added minor adjustments to add to the story.

I hope you enjoy the read.

Lord Cadaver; King Of The Sea

A long time ago, in the ancient times of Darkfall. There existed six mighty, brave and strong warriors.

Noxite Morelle, the brave.
Jarl Koda, the wise.
Chief Wigham, the chav.
Brathor Wigham, the chav's bruv.
Miss Cheeky, the whore.
and Lord Cadaver, the unnamed.

These six warriors lived in a town called Copperdale which existed in the lands of Agon.
Day in and day out they would work on a new piece of armour, chop trees or have a drink together at the pub. They would then come home at night to spend the evening with their wife and kids. (Except cheeky of course, she would just return to the whorehouse where she would then have sex all night with 5 other men)

Their time in Agon was peaceful, joyful and full of life. There was no where else that they would want to be.

However, one day, darkness covered the skies of Agon. A band of men attacked Copperdale and left it in ruins. Everybodies families were killed, but Chief Wigham lost the most. He lost all his 69 children that he had accumalated over the past 5 years (he's a chav. They make lots of babies).
The warriors managed to survive the attack, and the rest of the remaining villagers fled to distant lands. Copperdale was finished.

All six warriors stood over the nearby hill, watching Copperdale as it burned away in the fiery glaze. They all knew what to do next. There was only one place left that they could all go and live the rest of their lives safely; Rubaiyat, the city of Ghanalaj. 21 Kilometres away.

The six warriors left their memories behind and wiped away their tears as they rode away from Copperdale, heading towards the coast.
After many hours of riding they finally reached water. They were about to swim the whole 21 kilometres when Jarl Koda, the wise, suddenly suggested that they should build a raft.
All of the other five warriors agreed of course, as they all trusted Jarl Koda strongly. After all, he is the wisest.

So the warriors spent roughly a day on the south eastern shore of Agon, chopping, mining, sawing, smelting and nailing away to make a raft. Finally after many hours and hours of hard work, the raft was finished. The warriors wasted no time on hopping on the raft and setting sail to the land of Rubaiyat.

Many days of travel followed. The warriors took turns to stear the boat, as they soon became tired, so Jarl had the idea of a cycle. Oh the genius.
On the 2nd day, Jarl discovered a way to train the warriors muscles. They all went underneath the raft and locked themselves to a peice of wood, found a pocket of air and swam along with the raft's movements, while the raft was pushing them at the same time.
On the 3rd day Brathor became seasick. Extremely seasick (Who's the hard-ass chav now?). The warriors helped rap him up in cloth as he was indeed very ill, and the warriors look after each other when in trouble.
On the 4th day, the warriors came across a mysterious village, floating in the middle of the ocean. They stopped to take a look around and find a source of some kind of food. The city was empty. No one around. Suddenly water started to spout out of the the sea in an upwards vacuum all around the village! The warriors shit themselves, ran straight back to the raft and set sail RIGHT AWAY!

The 5th day was the last day of the warrior's travels, and they were pretty tired, especially since they've been sailing the last day covered in their own shit.
They were so excited to be so close to their new home, it would be such a relief when they finally reach it.

Suddenly there was a huge rumble in the ocean and heavy waves rocked the raft rapidly from side to side. Miss Cheeky was the only person underneath the raft training her swimming at the time and was probably the most scared too, she was stuck underneath the raft of course, the only way out is for the raft to come to a stop. However, Jarl had no time to put the raft to a stop, as he knew exactly what it was.

More rumbles quaked through the ocean and Miss Cheeky was shouting for her life, asking Jarl to stop the raft so she could get on board! But there was no stopping! Suddenly the raft was hit by something from below and Miss Cheeky's voice was drowned out, the warriors could not hear or see Miss Cheeky anymore. Miss Cheeky had vanished into the depths of the sea! But what could it be?!?!

All of a sudden a GIGANTIC tentacle, twice the size of copperdale appeared in the air and slammed down into the water infront of the raft. All the warriors turned slowly to their right to witness the head of a KRAKEN! This is something bigger than ANYTHING they have ever seen before! All the warriors shit their pants yet again! So that was extra shit on top of their other shit!
However, Noxite being the brave one, took his bow out, stood in his most mighty posture and fired as many arrows as he could into the Kraken! But these arrows were nothing compared to the Kraken's strength!
The tentacle came down again and slammed into the raft! The raft shattered into pieces and Jarl, being the captain of the ship, decided to go down with it. All the other warriors started to swim towards Rubaiyat (Still a couple of kilometres away) and Noxite, the brave charged towards the Kraken with his sword out, as Jarl and the raft sank deeper and deeper into the sea. The Kraken was going wild! Slamming each tentacle into the water beside Noxite! However Noxite maneuvred past every swing and started to get closer and closer to the Kraken's head! The Kraken opened its mouth to let out a mighty roar, at which point Noxite hopped into its mouth, ran across its tongue and jumped down into it's throat with his sword unsheathed. However, Noxite wasn't so clever and forgot that most living things have stomach acids that dissolve things that enter the stomach. Noxite was never seen of, or heard of again.

As Lord Cadaver, Chief Wigham and Brathor Wigham swam as fast as they could away from the Kraken, Chief suddenly took out something from his pocket. He put his mouth on it and started blowing into it. The small thing started getting bigger and bigger and eventually turned into a raft! Chief Wigham and Lord Cadaver quickly hopped onto this new raft and started sailing away! However, Brathor Wigham was too far away from the raft to get on it. He swam and swam for his life, but his illness began to kick in and he ran out of strength to keep himself up and floating in these deep waters. He stopped for a second to try and regain his strength, but was grabbed by one of the Krakens tentacles, swung into the air and thrown into it's large and vile mouth.

Chief Wigham and Lord Cadaver were still rafting away as fast as they could, they had become so scared that they had forgot the amount of shit that they were covered in! But, the raft's speed was yet again, no match for the Kraken's. The Kraken's tentacle swooped down and ran straight through the center of the raft and demolished Chief Wigham in the process. Blood, guts and pieces of wood flew everywhere. Lord Cadaver had managed to double-jump straight off the boat before the tentacle had finished its swing. He had been scarred by the sight of Chief Wigham being blown into bits.

Lord Cadaver knew that he was next. He knew that he was the last of the six warriors. He knew that he had to try and be the one to live to tell the tale! Lord Cadaver was determined to make it alive! He swam like he never swam before! He downed all his potions! Cast all his spells! Dodged all the tentacle hits! Until the Kraken suddenly stopped following Lord Cadaver and turned back. The Kraken had left him and peace.

Why?
Maybe because the Kraken liked his determination. Maybe because the Kraken saw the power in Lord Cadaver's soul. Maybe because the Kraken saw something that we did not.

Lord Cadaver was the king of the sea.

And to this day, Lord Cadaver was no longer the unnamed, but Lord Cadaver, King of the sea. He lived to tell the tale many times and lived a life happily ever after, married to a mermaid.

What's that you ask? Did Lord Cadaver ever reach Rubaiyat?

The answer is no.
He disconnected from the server like half way there and since Darkfall is a bit bugged, you teleport back to your bindstone (Copperdale) if you log out in water.

In memory of Noxite Morelle, Miss Cheeky, Jarl Koda, Chief Wigham and Brathor Wigham.

How To Look Good Naked, With Gok Wa... Sorry, I Mean; Feoren Lannis

Darkfall (DF) is a Sandbox MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online RolePlaying Game)(And sandbox means that you build your gaming world. You do whatever you want with very few limitations). It is set in a medieval/fantasy world, and you, as a fighter can travel it's lands doing whatever you want. Be it, make houses, kill players or wage wars for glory.
It is very similar to Mortal Online, just with slightly different concepts and play styles.

Ventrillo is a software that is used so people across the internet can communicate to each other through voice/microphone.
In Darkfall, there are several races that you can choose to be. I am a human.
Alfars are an enemy race to the Humans.

My name ingame is Noxite Morelle, and the other 3 dudes are some guildies of mine. (A guild is like an online team. We group together, have one leader and are able to communicate with each other very easily)
We're all pretty new to the game except Devi, who has been a long time casual player.
Wolfberry Runelode (A dwarf)
Feoren Lannis (the guy who organised the trip)
Devi Ante (cool tag-along)

How To Look Good Naked, With Gok Wa... Sorry, I Mean; Feoren Lannis

Now, Feoren Lannis doesn't have much tolerance for losing his gear, so he's invented this thing called a "Naked Trip". He runs all the way to the enemy lands, completely naked and tries to gear himself up from killing as many enemy players as he can.
Fun or what, eh? So me, Wolfberry Runelode and Devi Ante decide to tag along with him this time. So we all strip our armour off and bank it, then start out on our trek to the Alfar lands.


Four guys, running naked, sticking together. Sounds gay, I know... But this is the way Feoren likes it.
Feoren's formula: Less stuff = less risk + more challenge. More challenge = more fun. Less risk = win.

So all four of us are running, running, running, keeping ears open for any sign of an enemy close by, hitting each other for the fun of it, etc, etc. When finally we reach a small area that is pretty dense with big rocks and alien-looking plants/trees.

The 'Public' chat bar starts flickering green; two enemies are nearby duelling, we look into the distance and we can see them sitting down on the floor resting and sharing a bit of the "GG, Nice fight" chat. All four of us hide behind a tree to see who they are and whether we could take them, when a THIRD enemy comes riding up to them. Now, sure, there's four of us, but we're NAKED, and they are fully geared. So we figure that we don't really have any chance and we decide to go back, and go around them. But just as we turn around, the enemies suddenly spot us and start running towards us! Quickly, we shout on Ventrillo to run into the dense area and each pick a hiding spot.

We all either hide behind some random bush or a rock etc, and we're all pretty far apart from each other. We sit there for a little while wondering if the enemies are going to ambush us and pick us off one by one. So Devi Ante says in public chat: "Hello" "We come in peace".

Great! Now they'll think that we're some roleplaying naked faggots, looking for a spot in the wilderness to have some bum-fun together! Nice one Devi!


However, there is no reply from the enemy and we sit there thinking that they are keeping their mouths shut while they try find us in these bushes. Suddenly, somebody gets attacked! THE ENEMIES HAVE FOUND US! So we all jump out of the bushes running around to see where the hell they all are! It took us a good 10 seconds to work out that we've been hiding all this time in a raptor nest! And it wasn't the enemies attacking, it was a fucking raptor! So we all get our bows/weapons and try to kill this raptor, while Wolfberry is running as fast as he can on his little dwarven legs away from this raptor! Unfortunately, these raptors are pretty damn fast and it pretty much rapes Wolfberry, striking him down to the ground. Next, the raptor comes after me! I start running around, shooting it but my naked body is no match for this god damn raptor, and it instantly kills me! So now I'm hit with this loading screen while I'm being teleported back to my hometown of Copperdale and listening to all this "OH SHIT" "THIS WAY, THIS WAY" "KEEP RUNNING" "SHOOT THE GOD DAMN THING" "UH-OH ANOTHER RAPTOR INCOMING!!!" over Ventrillo. Then suddenly it goes all silent.


I ask "Did we kill it? How many of us are still alive??". To which I get the reply: "None of us, we're all dead."


Shit... We just spent 30 minutes running all the way to the Alfar lands, EXPECTING to be murdered by some enemies sooner or later, but we all end up being raped by a bunch of frigging raptors.


If there is anything we learnt today, it's that; There is no such thing as "Peace" in Darkfall.


"We come in peace"

Devi Ante's last words.

The Day The People Of Kranesh Stood With Eyes Wide Open

Mortal Online (MO) is a Sandbox MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online RolePlaying Game)(And sandbox means that you build your gaming world. You do whatever you want with very few limitations). It is set in a medieval/fantasy world, and you, as a fighter can travel it's lands doing whatever you want. Be it, make houses, kill players or wage wars for glory.

I have a small 'fail' story I wrote on my guild's forum in Mortal Online beta a while ago, when we tried raiding a small town named Kranesh (A red town with no guards). My guild was called The Black Origin (TBO).

My guild called me 'Noxite The Bastard' because I was pretty arbitrary in MO. I did what I wanted and I was a pretty fucking epic fighter.
Ojin was some guy from Sweden who was OKish with the English language.
Swennet is an archer who wasn't actually in our guild, just a good friend.
and Zero is a tank (heavy armour, massive 2h sword)

The Day The People Of Kranesh Stood With Eyes Wide Open

Four strong men watched over the town of Kranesh from a nearby hill. Noxite the Bastard, Zero the Tank, Ojin the Orangutan and Swennet the Outsider.

Tactics and strategies were quickly passed around between these men; They were planning on overrunning Kranesh.
Noxite the Bastard lead these great men forward into Kranesh with a primary task of setting a peace treaty between the enemies.

To the groups surprise there was only one enemy in the distance. He stood there proudly with his long spear and shield.

Noxite the Bastard gallantly approached this stranger with his head and shoulders up high. He opened his mouth for a second and said one wise word; "Hello."
Now, Ojin, being an Orangutan who doesn't speak English, did not understand a single tactic that was shared earlier and raised his sword high and quickly rushed in towards the enemy.

Noxite went mad shouting "Stop fool! STOP!". Zero felt that he had to protect his friend Ojin and rushed in with his sword unsheathed! Swennet quickly got his bow out and started shooting like crazy! Ojin hit the enemy, Zero hit Ojin, Swennet headshotted Zero, Ojin lost control of his mouse and hit Noxite in the head, Noxite tripped over from the blow and hit Ojin in the balls, Ojin flew backwards and his sword plunged accidentally through the enemies head, Swennet carried on firing and hit Zero in the head once again, Zero's sword flew into Swennet from the impact of the arrow, Noxite took a swing at the enemy but sliced Ojin's arm off........

Minutes later from chaos, shouting, blood, friendly fire, screaming, death and madness Noxite the Bastard stood boldly over 4 corpses with his fists on his hips and his head up high... Unfortunately for Noxite's honour, 3 of the corpses infact belonged to his men and the other one was the enemies, which loot bugged along with Zero's corpse.

So once again, a successful assault for a proud and pro-filled guild.

"TBO...!!! FOREVER...!!!"

Based on a true story.